Wagons, Bottles, Smoke Signals and Turning 50!

I admire everyone that's is trying to quit smoking. What an endeavor. Gather the wagons up in a circle, pass the bottle of vodka around (no wait, don't I'll want to smoke), send up the smoke signals and hang on!

I officially quit on February 7, 2008 for the umpteenth time, after threats and warnings from my doctors and friends. What really turned the table for me was my brother who was 39 years old, DIDN'T SMOKE dropped dead of a heartattack on August 25th, 2 days before my 21st wedding anniversary. I had been doing great up until that day, only occasionally smoking AFTER work on the porch with my husband. I broke all my rules that day and smoked like a freight train. What an excuse for me, my brother died so I wallow in cigarettes, knowing full well I'm 30 lbs, no let's be honest 40 lbs overweight, on 2 kinds of blood pressure medicine and to add insult to my injury now cholesterol medicine. Not a med in the world until I turned 47. I'm digressing, sorry.

Anyway, watching my parents bury their only son, is something I wouldn't wish on anyone, especially since he was the "healthy" one and of course the baby in the family.

So I came home, and plodded along bitching about smoking, being fat, being on medicine and drinking too much. Doctors still hounding me........all the while.

I sat down with myself in late late December and took a real hard look at my health, my life, my family, you know blah blah blah.......bottom line i was going into my 50th year of life and my health SUCKED. No one could fix it but little 'ole me (no wait that's big 'ole me).

I laid a plan. Not on New Years Eve, I'll blow it. SO, i started back on Chantix (GREAT MEDICINE by the way - I'll digress here somewhat, I have some really shall we say VIVID dreams, and believe me my body knows when those little receptors are starting to act up and man is it time to take a little blue pill (Chantix is blue - amazing huh?) and I do take that pill FAITHFULLY.

Back to the Wagons, Bottles and Smoke Signals. I was circling the Smoke Signals with my wagon slowly - no smoking from the time I left the house until I returned in the evening. I hated that ride home. Now I've gotton used to it.

Then I started back at the GYM oh hell yeah, I've done the gym thing before......but this time it was different, it wasn't about being skinny or svelte (I have never been svelte but I love that word), it was about getting off these damned old cigarettes and all this medicine. I was a picture now imagine, me huffing and puffing trying to get through an hour of exercising. 5 minutes on the treadmill did me in at first! Everything ached, popped and cracked. Still Circling in my wagon.

On February 7th I said no more, I smoked my last after 5 cigarette that night at 8:15 pm and held on..........Amazingly I did ok, (of course I went to bed at 8:25!) The next day was tough, it was Friday! My husband & I always meet all of our friends at the local bar for you guessed it Bottles and Smoke Signals (most of our friends smoke). Add alcohol and we can entertain ourselves for hours!

Friday night, So, here we are pulling up the watering hole (I had worked out for 30 minutes after getting off work went home cleaned up, loaded my husband up in the wagon and off we went) I decided ok, Deann you're not drinking tonight, you can't you'll screw up and smoke. SO I DRANK WATER!!!!!!!!!!!!! hey I felt great the next day and my husband didn't have to be the Designated Driver.

And so it goes, some days are better than others. Chantix does really curb your cravings, you don't come across as a total A$$hole because of mood swings, etc.

I know my triggers, as most of us do, I've learned to avoid them or change my habits
(man that's the hardest part). I finally drank last Friday night and never smoked a cigarette or wanted one. My friends have been very supportive. My husband has even cut back some, I guess he's getting ready for March 1st - when the house becomes a non smoking facility. But hey since I had left the bottles near the smoke signals, I have felt better and lost weight - not much but some!

I've rambled on long enough for one evening. I'll leave everyone with this thought I truly believe our government outlawed the wrong drug!

gigi50 (not quite yet)