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Monday, March 3, 2008

I Am A Quitting Loser!

I am hanging my head down in shame when I tell you that I broke my quit. On day 6, I just couldn't shake the all day crave and I gave in to a smoke like the addict I am. I went 6 days...... 6 days!!! How could I go back to it after that long?

My doctor wants me to try Chantix. I got the prescription filled today. I was thrilled that my insurance company did pay for most of it. I took my first pill today and I will see how it goes.

I have heard of a lot of success stories with Chantix. In fact, a few people have left comments on this blog about their success with Chantix. On the other hand, I have also heard some bad things about it too. Interestingly enough, two of my closest friends are using it right now to quit smoking too. I didn't know that and found it funny that we are all trying to quit at the same time. I asked them if they have had any bad side effects from Chantix but neither one of them has. They both feel that it is really helping them. Sooooooo, if they are liking it then I am going to give it a try.

I will tell you how my Chantix journey goes. I hate to point fingers but I am going to point one at my husband anyway! If only he would try to quit with me at the same time, I think it would be so much easier. While I risk soundy whiny, I must say it is hard to quit smoking when your spouse continues to do it. At least I was able to get a time frame from him. He said that he would quit once I have stopped smoking for three months. I see it as him buying himself some more time but I am going to hold him to it!

The way it works with Chantix is that you take it for a week and let it build up in your system. You can still smoke during that week. Then, you can either start cutting back or stop altogether. I will probably pick a day for early next week and stop. Cutting back has never worked for me before. Of course, it is painfully obvious that stopping altogether has not worked out the way I wanted either! There is one thing that I can guarantee: I will never stop quitting until I really quit. It will be done!

If you have a Chantix story, please share it here with everyone. Also, where are all of my quitting buddies?

6 comments:

Ferd said...

Kelly,
Don't be too discouraged. Addictions are MUCH more powerful than our logic and will. The best thing you've got is your strong desire to quit and willingness to take action. Learn something from this slip. Figure out what triggered you. Was it physical like fatigue or hunger? Was it emotional like sadness, anger, shame, loneliness, etc? Put yourself in a better position for next time.
Chantix will probably help. But your good attitude is what will win it in the end.
Good luck!
And btw, this blog is helping others. That's way cool.

Kelly said...

Thank you Ferdc! I don't think there was one particular trigger that broke my quit. Rather, it felt like something physical was missing.... it was a physical withdrawl. That seems impossible after 6 days but that is how it felt. I longed to feel "normal" physically and after I smoked, I did feel normal again. Maybe it was one big mind trick.

Ferd said...

I bet you're exactly right. Drug withdrawals are like that.
I'm rooting for you to soon feel okay without the smokes. It will be sometime after the Chantix side effects, though.
Again, good luck!

Kelly said...

One thing that helped me - there's a fake cigarette thing out there. I think the website is e-z quit or something like that.

Anyway - it's a plastic thing that you hold like a cigarette, with a cartridge that goes inside with mint oil in it.

Looks so silly, you'd never use it in a lot of places, but I found it to be VERY helpful when driving.

Something to fiddle with, something to "inhale" - and the bonus is that it tastes minty-clean like you just brushed your teeth.

I don't think it would help if you're out with friends who are smoking, but for those times you just don't feel ... normal, it helped me a lot.

Kelly said...

I have heard of those and they sound like a good substitute. I might just check them out. Thanks :)

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